Tonight's the night!

The comedy competition first round is tonight. There was a frustrating change in venue just announced last night...welcome to the world of stand-up. Whatever these things happen and I think I have let everyone know. I went to the new venue (Pressure Cafe 6318 N. Clark) last night which has an open mic on Thursday. I must say it is the best open mic I've been to in Chicago; lot's of positive energy! My set was only so-so, but the experimental new bit I did went over VERY well. So well, in fact, that I think I will use it as my closer tonight. Pressure Cafe is not a bar, and I think my style of comedy translates very well to the not-drunk crowd.

In other news, I will probably be moving to LA this summer. I will be doing the day-job pursue my dreams thing. If I get a break, cool. If not, I will be doing something worthwhile.

I'm on spring break

So I am skipping headlines this week. Except. for. one. Guess what? Kerri Wood and Marc Prior are going to start the year on the DL. Again. I wonder how much money they get paid per inning? Seriously, I am going to calculate it later this week.

Comedy Competition and Self-Evaluation

So there's lots going on right now in the comedy scene. I recently entered a comedy competition here in Chicago. 3 rounds: 1st round is judged by the audience so don't be shy and come out! I get to do 7-8 minutes, and I am still figuring out what will go in. I suspect about 5 min will be split between my two previous showcases and 2 min completely new. I am on spring break next week so I should have time to also tighten up and polish the older stuff. A Jobsian makeover, to use some 20th century slang.

Because the prize is substantial, I expect to win this competition you have to beat some pros. In any event, it is hard to get an accurate gauge of your material at open mics (for many reasons that would make this post too long) so I am looking forward to performing in front of a real audience.

There is also a comedy competition being sponsered by Comedy Central. The first round of this competition is a tape submission, which means I might be filming myself a little bit in the upcoming weeks. This one has a prize of being booked on TV! Cool! It is national and whatever we'll see.

Tuesday Headlines

Some more of my weekly takes on the events of the past week...
CAMPAIGN NEWS: John McCain vows to change the world misconception of the "ugly American"

I hate when politicians pander. He is only doing this because the issue that concerns young voters the most is "bringing sexy back"

Being an ugly ameican is still better than "fugly French"

If someone gave me $10 million in aide I would probably say something nice. That's not really a joke, I'm just sayin'...

Global warming is being blamed not just for hurricanes and other weather stuff. It is also being blamed for cockroach migration, sheep mutation, and obesity

It's only a matter of time before a husband says "The reason I didn't come home is because it was just so nice outside." That 0.5 degree makes all the difference.

I think it's time we ironically re-released "Blame it on the Rain."

John W. Backus developer of Fortran died in his home at the age of 82. Bless him

When describing the process,

It was Mr. Backus who set the tone for the Fortran team. Yet if the style was informal, the work was intense, a four-year venture with no guarantee of success and many small setbacks along the way.

Innovation, Mr. Backus said, was a constant process of trial and error.

Fortran programmers will appreciate that passage on more than 1 level.

nice rap

there is some strong language, but For everybody who thinks Duke sucks, but was unsure as to exactly why Duke sucks -- this rap video is for you.

March Madness!!!1

Is here! I like Ohio St. to win it all. I am really hoping that Illinois gets a chance to know Bill Self out of the tourny. That guy is a lying bastard. I was watching the scoreboard on ESPN.com and found this update to be quite charming..

Mike Jones made a 2-point dunk shot

Tuesday Headlines!

I had a good open mic last night. Got offered a teaching job in LA, which sounds kinda cool to me. Lots of things going on in the news...
This weekend, Hugo Chavez said capitalism is the road to hell

To which Republicans replied, "It was probably built by unions."

To which Democrats replied, "Before that road ends we need to insert a toll fee."

To which Libertarians replied, "And people think We're crazy!?"

Al Gore has a TV station (it's true!) called Current TV. He is going to expand it to 10 million homes world wide and said "I think this will help save democracy."

No one is more qualified to say this, because, as we all know, Al Gore invented Democracy

It's ironic that it is called Current TV, but they still cover the 2000 election.

This is not really a joke, but Viacom is suing You Tube (owned by Google) for 1 billion dollars over copyright stuff. I am tickled by the idea of the CEO of google writing a check to all those millionaire starving artists. I hope he would do it sarcastically, like Steve Martin in "The Jerk".

Show highlights

My father recorded my show on his digital camera, and I spliced out some highlights. I tried showing this to my friend a couple mintes ago and he said that the audio was unhearable. I guess it would be ok if you were there, but I can't wait for the DVD in a couple weeks! Enjoy



I did that bath tub bit at the Mutiny and a girl yelled out GROSS! I was proud of myself for selling it so well the hyperbole was lost on her.

Tuesday Night Headlines (during the day)

Hey all, here are the headlines. I'm going to watch a showcase tonight; should be cool. I know the guy who runs it and he said I am now on the list. Could be months though, since the show is once a month and the list is long. Without further ado....

Allen Greenspan says the is a one third chance of recession coming up...

I like the statistics. Forget the global implications, as a gambling man I want the over-under

Sounds suspiciously like he is saying 1/3 chance recession, 1/3 chance stays the same, 1/3 chance it gets better. That's a Ph.D. in economics for you (haha Ben Zing!)

John Edwards says Jesus would be ashamed of American selfishness...

On the bright side I think he would love our rap videos

Sounds noble, but the church is just using him as a front man to increase Sunday offerings

A drill sergeant was accused of forcing a recruit to dress as superman and perform sex acts (it's true, click here

It was supposedly designed to boost the recruits confidence. Nothing says confidence like being on your knees, wearing spandex and questioning your sexuality

Kinda makes me feel lame for being shy. I can't even ask a girl out and this guy is asking army guys to switch teams

Sorry for being a little crude this week, but the headlines dictate it. Another story, a NWA employee accused of , ummm, sexually relieving himself on a customer. No jokes, but this is an honest to God quote from the article "It happened on the redeye Monday morning from Seattle to Minneapolis."

Whatcha talkin 'bout

So I went to another open mic last night. I have been doing a few of these, but what made this notable was it was at the Mutiny. For those that don't know, the Mutiny is a famous dive bar that has remained a dive without selling out. Anyways, it is a tough vulgar crowd, so I called an audible and scrapped my Fortran jokes and inserted my child abduction jokes. It went over well, but then I tried my Bill Clinton joke and an old man with a gray beard and shoulder length srcaggly hair objected. "You're making us think!" he exclaimed. Yes. Yes I am. That's what people are doing most of the time.

I reconciled with him after the set, he said he actually liked it; bought me a beer; and told me his joke which I can't repeat here because this is a family blog. I can, however, tell you the punchline. The punchline is "cream soda".

Instead of just walking away and saying "those aren't my people" I have decided that next time I go back I will not bring material, but instead try my hand at crowd work. I fully expect to crash and burn the first couple times.

Getting Comfortable

My show last night went really well!!! The other comics were great, standing room only crowd, and a personal achievement I will detail later. Thanks to all who supported in body and in spirit. Last time roughly 1/4 of the crowd was there for me, so I had a lot of forgiveness room in my set. This time, although roughly the same number of Roy supporters showed up, the crowd was so large that my crew not such an appreciable fraction. Ergo, when I took the stage I had something to prove to the people who don't know me. I did really well! My friend Phil said there were two guys on the side that I don't know who were almost crying at my Fortran jokes.

The achievement is that I really felt comfortable on stage. This may make more sense to a comic, but I would describe it in the following way: there is a difference between saying what you want to say versus doing what you want to do. Last night I was doing it, doing it, and doing it well (in the style of LL Cool J). Pics and videos in the coming weeks!