Wednesday, April 25, 2007

I'm loving this baseball season

The Sox are off to a good start, and the Cubs....well at least they are doing better than their 1997 0-14 start. Add Lou Pinada to most over-rated manager list along with with the following players: Zabrano (most over-rated ace), Soriano (most over-rated utility player), and Ramirez (most over-rated whatever-position-he-plays). The Cubs are so bad this year I don't even have to mention Kerri Wood or Prior-ly a good player. From the Tribune
Only a few thousand fans out of an announced crowd of 34,382 remained [at Wrigly Field] till the bitter end, seemingly hanging around just to heckle reliever Scott Eyre [a Cub], who has been shifted to mop-up duty for the time being.

That's how grim it has become.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Tuesday headlines return!

Hey all - time to get back into the game. Just a reminder I have showcases May 1st at the Players Bar and Grill 8:30 PM 551 N. Ogden and May 4th 10:30 PM Kitty Moon 63?? N. Clark.

Democrats subpoena Alberto Gonzalez's text messages...
  • They were disappointed by all the "IDNR"s - I do not recall
  • Did you really think there'd be anything there? Everyone knows Gonzalez and Rove are bff's

  • Sheryl Crow demands Americans only use one square of toilet paper to combat global warming...
  • She did not venture a limit on stretch hummers though (she has 2)
  • This would be a huge boost to the kitchen paper towel market

  • The mayor of San Francisco declared his city a sanctuary for illegal immigrants...
  • There is some precedent for this in California...Neverland ranch is sanctuary for child molesters
  • Los Angelas in sactuary for celebrity murderers
  • If the LA one sounds to specific keep in mind in LA celeb. killers is a large demographic

  • OUT!

    I have a theory

    That anything set to the music of Benny Hill is automatically funny

    Friday, April 20, 2007

    That ain't right

    In yesterday's White Sox game Mike McDougal cam in the 7th inning with runners on 2nd and 3rd no-outs. He got a groundout, sacrifice fly, and a strikeout. However, since the Sox were leading by 1 at the time, he gets a blown save. Here is his line:

    M MacDougal (Blown save, 1) in:1.0 hits:0 runs:0 Earned:0 BB:0 K:1 PC-ST:17-9

    Thursday, April 19, 2007

    Sanjaya is gone

    I'm really upset about it. Here is a tribute

    Buehrle throws no-hitter

    Which is amazing! He also picked off the only runner (Sammy Sosa: blockhead) so faced the minimum 27 batters. I recall Buehrle also faced the minimum 27 against Cleveland once during the 2005 Championship season, which in my memory was actually a 2-hitter with 2 double plays. Why is Sammy Sosa a blockhead? When asked after the game about the no hitter:

    "He was in command," Sosa said.

    Wednesday, April 18, 2007

    No headlines again

    Really sorry - thesis work is consuming my time and the news this week has been profoundly sad. My two cents about the upcoming gun control debate: It is a fundamental right to own a firearm. The government restricts felons from purchasing, because they have a history of violating the law which justifies restricting their rights. I'm still working on the justification, but I would expand the list of people who can't purchase guns to those who have been institutionalized in a mental health facility. I actually know someone at Virginia Tech, whom I haven't seen or talked to for a long time. She's fine, but still it made it very real to me; thoughts and condolences.

    UPDATE: Such a law already exists. It only applies to people involuntarily admitted.

    Monday, April 16, 2007

    Take Back

    Ok, so I looked at Carlos Zambrano's numbers and he actually has had a couple good years. Still don't consider him an ace, but he's not that bad.

    Sunday, April 15, 2007

    Yeah Chicago

    We are in the finals to host the Olympics! I am so pumped about this. I have some observations and stuff about Chicago culture and such that I am fleshing out inspired by something my friend said last weekend. Expect that post this week.

    In other news, Lou Piniella manager of the Cubs was pissed they lost the other day. Here is a video clip. I found it charming that the clip is entitled "Lou Piniella's 1st Cubs tirade". There are certainly more to come...

    p.s. Now that the jig is up and nobody is relying on Kerri Wood and Prior, I have to update an opinion: Carlos Zambrano is the most over-rated player in the big leagues. Compelling evidence later this week.

    Wednesday, April 11, 2007

    Tuesday headlines (on Wednesday)

    Sorry to be late and light again - I'm writing my thesis and it is taking time...

    Radio personality Don Imus apologizes for calling Rutger's women's basketball team "nappy headed hoes"...
  • The African-American community was outraged, icluding (but not exclusively) R. Kelly, P-diddy, and Sir Mix-a-lot
  • Activists everywhere are worried this might stigmatize women with tatoos

  • The father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby has been revealed...
  • Atleast now I don't have to hear anymore "I'm the father..." jokes. More of a comics' joke, I know

  • Good enough, I'll do much better next week, I can feel it.

    Thursday, April 05, 2007

    Recent Happenings

    I went to a comedy show hosted by Jay Harris last Tuesday with a friend from college. Jay is one of the first people I met in comedy and a cool cat. After the show he "booked" me for next month, which is awesome! The room he runs is real big and fun. One thing, I think I had a little too romantic notion of how these things are done. No press; no drama; he just came up to me and was like "You want to go up next month?" and I was like "Yeah." Then he gave me tickets to promote it. May 1st! May 1st! spread the word. Those of you who follow this blog closely will notice that I am also showcasing May 4th - that show is very far north so depending on where you live you should see one of the shows (or both).

    In other news I am becoming completely obsessed with American Idol (not really news), but in particular Sanjaya's success (that's the news). Go Sanjaya!! He is my American Idol and a controversial celebrity to boot. Those of you not watching American Idol need to go to this website:

    Read the mailbag. Do it. If you can still read after wiping away the tears of laughter go to

    Tuesday, April 03, 2007

    Tuesday Headlines

    Whoa, this is hard b/c I haven't been following the news that closely this week. I have noticed a few things...

    British sailors "apologize" for entering Iranian waters...
  • This just shows how week the west is. The confessed after five days of torture. To get a confession we needed five years
  • I was going to say "what's the over under on how long before the USA gets blamed for this?" but it happened before Tuesday :(

  • French train breaks world speed record!
  • Apparently they were inspired by the Star Wars lore that you could retreat in less than 12 parsecs

  • The Cubs have been picked to win the National League Central (rim shot!)

    Sunday, April 01, 2007

    No Dice

    I didn't make it through...4th of 8. Reflections: it was still good to be part of what was a very strong lineup. I was a little disappointed, but I didn't have my best set. I made the mistake of "stepping on my laughs" which is starting your next joke before people have stopped laughing. This ruins the flow, and consequently I would describe my set as "having its moments" but never really taking off. Oh well, one other observation: in a competition the atmosphere is a lot more tense; it didn't feel like everyone was there to have fun. I'm not sure how I feel about that - I might just go the old fashioned route and get noticed instead of winning a competition.

    On positive that came out of it: the host thought I did well enough to book me in a "New Faces Showcase" May 4th. It's kinda funny, because personally the host and I are totally different and probably wouldn't ever be meet if not for comedy. Something I've learned is that the people you'd like to hang at a bar with aren't always the people who are reliable to get things done. With age I've come to respect accomplishment more than agreement.