Tuesday Night Headlines (during the day)

Hey all, here are the headlines. I'm going to watch a showcase tonight; should be cool. I know the guy who runs it and he said I am now on the list. Could be months though, since the show is once a month and the list is long. Without further ado....

Allen Greenspan says the is a one third chance of recession coming up...

I like the statistics. Forget the global implications, as a gambling man I want the over-under

Sounds suspiciously like he is saying 1/3 chance recession, 1/3 chance stays the same, 1/3 chance it gets better. That's a Ph.D. in economics for you (haha Ben Zing!)

John Edwards says Jesus would be ashamed of American selfishness...

On the bright side I think he would love our rap videos

Sounds noble, but the church is just using him as a front man to increase Sunday offerings

A drill sergeant was accused of forcing a recruit to dress as superman and perform sex acts (it's true, click here

It was supposedly designed to boost the recruits confidence. Nothing says confidence like being on your knees, wearing spandex and questioning your sexuality

Kinda makes me feel lame for being shy. I can't even ask a girl out and this guy is asking army guys to switch teams

Sorry for being a little crude this week, but the headlines dictate it. Another story, a NWA employee accused of , ummm, sexually relieving himself on a customer. No jokes, but this is an honest to God quote from the article "It happened on the redeye Monday morning from Seattle to Minneapolis."