tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-104232672011-06-08T01:10:03.154-05:00There Is A Point In ThisRoyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.comBlogger3081100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-79035758844643096702008-03-17T12:17:00.001-05:002008-03-17T12:19:28.284-05:00

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-76455427501592706132008-03-11T22:14:00.001-05:002008-03-11T22:15:21.159-05:00

I haven't ben following baseball as closely as I used to, so this year I will make my predictions short and sweet: White Sox 1st place Cubs last place. Yankees miss the playoffs.

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-6844575305625351272008-03-04T21:18:00.003-06:002008-03-04T21:22:36.857-06:00

So I've been in Hollywood for a few months now. I hope to be able to post some specifics, but on the whole I like the vibe. Here is the first in what I hope (if I can be disciplined) to be a regular installment: Hollywierd. Hollywood is good at a lot of things, but as you can tell from the photo taken at a local McDonald's, mathematics is not one of them.

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-65245859466963004522008-03-02T14:32:00.002-06:002008-03-02T14:34:17.392-06:00

I think I will start blogging again. I will update the sidebar in the upcoming week. In the meantime I noticed something. I have a weather forecaster built into my Firefox browser. It stopped my page loading and said "Sever Weather Alert!". So I clicked on the link to find out what's up and a webpage popped up that said "Cloudy".

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-23703680456964474972007-10-23T15:05:00.000-05:002007-10-23T15:07:22.813-05:00

Due to the volume of inquiries about my having possibly been burned to death, I am announcing that I am fine. It is a little weird giving people natural disaster updates. I remember once when I was a kid our basement flooded. Regular bloging to resume in a month.

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-45437543208395187252007-08-19T13:52:00.000-05:002007-08-19T14:08:34.424-05:00

Hey, since I no longer use a computer where this is my homepage I have been neglectful. I will recap the rest of my road trip in short, sweet anecdotes.Day 3 Wimego, KS. Home of the Wizard of Oz Museuam. I was going to go when just then the car guy called me and said he couldn't get the parts. So I wasted most of my day, and more importantly enough of my day the I couldn't get to Denver that

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-60932999323176905632007-08-07T00:19:00.000-05:002007-08-07T00:26:33.155-05:00

This was the second day in a row there was construction exactly where I need to change roads and missed my road. Ugh, but it wasn't that bad the road I ended up taking was just as fast as the interstate and I was not interested in getting a ticket. Also I got out of Illinois which for undisclosed reasons I breathed a sigh of relief. So I went through KAnsas City during Rush hour, which was

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-58414378754647742512007-08-05T12:41:00.000-05:002007-08-05T12:46:38.919-05:00

So I was going to do a very long post about my road trip, but I figured it would be palatable if I break it down into days. So over the next week I will retelling my adventure across the heart of the USA.My first day I travelled to western Illinois to stay at my mom's house. She lives in Tioga, Il. which is clost to where Il, Mo, and Iowa meet. I made one wrong turn (a recurring theme) and

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-81215225032520331912007-07-22T17:31:00.000-05:002007-07-22T17:32:07.554-05:00

looks like other people are having issues too

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1536854511729771382007-07-17T17:44:00.001-05:002007-07-17T17:49:18.684-05:00

There's this company called Surfango (they have a website) that makes motorized kayaks and surfboards. They had a product launch party this weekend at Lake Geneva, and guess what? I went! These things are really fun - the kayak is controlled via a joystick and is really stable, fun, and fast. But what I was interested in, of course, was the motorized surfboard.Wow! Everyone knows I've always

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-39686130762939853682007-07-10T11:01:00.000-05:002007-07-10T11:04:40.198-05:00

So I was looking for some fun last night and decided to factorize my phone number (w/o area code) into prime numbers. I thought this would be easy, but sure enough there is a 5 digit prime number that divides evenly into my phone number. To verify primeness I had to figure out all the primes up to the square root of 65951 (approx 256) and then do the math. It took me a couple hours, and had I

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-86526978808843260542007-07-07T15:43:00.000-05:002007-07-07T15:51:15.820-05:00

I read a recent study that claims women and men both talk the same amount, that is, use roughly 16,000 words per day. This opinion piece by Steve Chapman says [paraphrase] "No way!" I am inclined to agree. So today I did an experiment on the train. The train was full and I decided to as quickly as I can count how many men were talking and how many women. To minimize error I did this as

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-63244470892955898692007-07-06T16:26:00.001-05:002007-07-06T16:32:07.944-05:00

So remember way back when I said I had some comedy goals before leaving for LA? Well the Zanies talent booker said I was too inexperienced for their club, but they had a tent at the taste of Chicago! With an open mic! It's not the real thing, but I'll take it. I just performed about 1 hour ago and it went pretty well. They have three more shows tomorrow and I am seriously considering going

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-21985142439740667942007-06-28T12:21:00.000-05:002007-06-28T12:22:16.505-05:00

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-57857567576496612842007-06-26T09:07:00.000-05:002007-06-26T09:09:06.001-05:00

I love this. Check out the whole series.

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-58098034620634640352007-06-18T12:55:00.001-05:002007-06-18T14:47:07.160-05:00

So I was sitting on the back porch reading the Reagan Diaries, and I heard this sound in the kitchen. It sounded like someone was home, but when I looked there was no one there. I just assumed the sound came from somewhere else and kept reading. Tick tock 20 minutes go by and I am still hearing sounds in the kitchen, and I look down and there is an adult raccoon about two inches from my leg!

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-11899758728481309812007-06-10T12:57:00.000-05:002007-06-10T12:58:21.982-05:00

I'll tell you the story as soon as I figure out how to get the pictures on my phone to the internets.

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-27757356835901683922007-06-05T13:23:00.000-05:002007-06-05T13:27:00.910-05:00

Hey loyal readers, sorry no posts for awhile. I've been busy, but let me briefly catch you up on what's happening now:I submitted a semi-final draft to my advisor for approvalI have a show tonight, which will most likely be my final showcase in Chicago. Come if you can 551 N. Ogden 9pm Players Club. By mere coincidence this is also the last show at Players Club. Jay told me there is a super

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-38082546556600408102007-05-25T16:07:00.001-05:002007-05-25T16:13:00.999-05:00

I saw this on my friend's blog My blog is worth $1,693.62.How much is your blog worth?Also, ESPN agrees with me that Alfonso Soriano is one of the most over-rated players in baseball. I'm not sure how Jeff Suppan makes the list by not Zambrano. Zambrano may be better, but Suppan makes a pedestrian salary and isn't considered a franchise player.

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-87948683017406065722007-05-16T13:06:00.000-05:002007-05-16T13:09:19.585-05:00

Working on my thesis, taking a little longer than expected, but altogether coming along. Haven't had a lot of time to go to open mics, I will try to go to two tonight. I will be debuting my new plan for getting in shape: I will start riding my bike to all these open mics. That should be roughly 40 miles/week of riding around (a decision motivated, in part, by the expiration of my U-pass).

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-17469817387969777922007-05-05T12:44:00.000-05:002007-05-05T12:49:58.273-05:00

I had another showcase last night, that went very well. I have this bit that always goes over well and previously I always did it in the middle. The reason for that was I can reference it later very easily, so it was nice to establish something I could "call back" (as we say in the biz). Anyways last night I closed on it and that was a better idea I think.So it turns out I got a Mulligan.

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-58098020737260872432007-05-02T14:01:00.000-05:002007-05-02T14:08:15.229-05:00

So yesterday I was not feeling well and had to go perform. I had that dull ache in the back of my eyeballs and was wondering whether I should even go. OK, so I show up to the show which is cool and just sip waters for awhile. The host Jay appreciated that I brought some friends so he gave my the pimp spot of 2nd to last. My throat was really dry and I got up and a weird thing happened.I sort

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-69576881467477953302007-05-01T15:04:00.000-05:002007-05-01T15:08:54.098-05:00

So yesterday I did a first for me: I performed at two open mics in the same night. This was mostly to prepare myself for the show tonight, as I have been busy and have not had a lot of time to practice. They went OK, which brings me to todays dilemma...Since the showcase is marginally a big deal (at least compared to open mics) I feel like I should just do my best stuff, even though most people

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-82100583960847971352007-04-25T09:45:00.000-05:002007-04-25T09:52:38.885-05:00

The Sox are off to a good start, and the Cubs....well at least they are doing better than their 1997 0-14 start. Add Lou Pinada to most over-rated manager list along with with the following players: Zabrano (most over-rated ace), Soriano (most over-rated utility player), and Ramirez (most over-rated whatever-position-he-plays). The Cubs are so bad this year I don't even have to mention Kerri

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-27758490017402914902007-04-24T13:29:00.000-05:002007-04-24T13:38:12.358-05:00

Hey all - time to get back into the game. Just a reminder I have showcases May 1st at the Players Bar and Grill 8:30 PM 551 N. Ogden and May 4th 10:30 PM Kitty Moon 63?? N. Clark.Democrats subpoena Alberto Gonzalez's text messages...They were disappointed by all the "IDNR"s - I do not recallDid you really think there'd be anything there? Everyone knows Gonzalez and Rove are bff'sSheryl Crow

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-44882399610327098372007-04-24T13:28:00.001-05:002007-04-24T13:28:46.639-05:00

That anything set to the music of Benny Hill is automatically funny

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-81318936179556128462007-04-20T10:24:00.000-05:002007-04-20T10:28:17.601-05:00

In yesterday's White Sox game Mike McDougal cam in the 7th inning with runners on 2nd and 3rd no-outs. He got a groundout, sacrifice fly, and a strikeout. However, since the Sox were leading by 1 at the time, he gets a blown save. Here is his line:M MacDougal (Blown save, 1) in:1.0 hits:0 runs:0 Earned:0 BB:0 K:1 PC-ST:17-9

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-54013087922062275942007-04-19T13:49:00.000-05:002007-04-19T16:44:19.738-05:00

I'm really upset about it. Here is a tribute

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-42600672066344646782007-04-19T11:53:00.000-05:002007-04-19T11:56:25.443-05:00

Which is amazing! He also picked off the only runner (Sammy Sosa: blockhead) so faced the minimum 27 batters. I recall Buehrle also faced the minimum 27 against Cleveland once during the 2005 Championship season, which in my memory was actually a 2-hitter with 2 double plays. Why is Sammy Sosa a blockhead? When asked after the game about the no hitter:"He was in command," Sosa said.

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-25317571391107272662007-04-18T13:37:00.000-05:002007-04-19T12:04:05.127-05:00

Really sorry - thesis work is consuming my time and the news this week has been profoundly sad. My two cents about the upcoming gun control debate: It is a fundamental right to own a firearm. The government restricts felons from purchasing, because they have a history of violating the law which justifies restricting their rights. I'm still working on the justification, but I would expand the

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-47267477448188327762007-04-16T08:50:00.000-05:002007-04-16T08:51:54.287-05:00

Ok, so I looked at Carlos Zambrano's numbers and he actually has had a couple good years. Still don't consider him an ace, but he's not that bad.

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-23495162168011686452007-04-15T13:14:00.000-05:002007-04-15T13:18:43.508-05:00

We are in the finals to host the Olympics! I am so pumped about this. I have some observations and stuff about Chicago culture and such that I am fleshing out inspired by something my friend said last weekend. Expect that post this week.In other news, Lou Piniella manager of the Cubs was pissed they lost the other day. Here is a video clip. I found it charming that the clip is entitled "Lou

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-71593711837422276532007-04-11T14:47:00.000-05:002007-04-11T14:56:18.205-05:00

Sorry to be late and light again - I'm writing my thesis and it is taking time...Radio personality Don Imus apologizes for calling Rutger's women's basketball team "nappy headed hoes"...The African-American community was outraged, icluding (but not exclusively) R. Kelly, P-diddy, and Sir Mix-a-lotActivists everywhere are worried this might stigmatize women with tatoosThe father of Anna Nicole

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-63569764348110459922007-04-05T11:04:00.000-05:002007-04-05T11:11:21.062-05:00

I went to a comedy show hosted by Jay Harris last Tuesday with a friend from college. Jay is one of the first people I met in comedy and a cool cat. After the show he "booked" me for next month, which is awesome! The room he runs is real big and fun. One thing, I think I had a little too romantic notion of how these things are done. No press; no drama; he just came up to me and was like "You

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-43660093880220964162007-04-03T15:06:00.000-05:002007-04-03T15:33:32.949-05:00

Whoa, this is hard b/c I haven't been following the news that closely this week. I have noticed a few things...British sailors "apologize" for entering Iranian waters...This just shows how week the west is. The confessed after five days of torture. To get a confession we needed five yearsI was going to say "what's the over under on how long before the USA gets blamed for this?" but it happened

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-64001675857541340462007-04-01T16:57:00.000-05:002007-04-01T17:25:02.818-05:00

I didn't make it through...4th of 8. Reflections: it was still good to be part of what was a very strong lineup. I was a little disappointed, but I didn't have my best set. I made the mistake of "stepping on my laughs" which is starting your next joke before people have stopped laughing. This ruins the flow, and consequently I would describe my set as "having its moments" but never really

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-83305003612441548502007-03-30T13:04:00.000-05:002007-03-30T14:16:30.982-05:00

The comedy competition first round is tonight. There was a frustrating change in venue just announced last night...welcome to the world of stand-up. Whatever these things happen and I think I have let everyone know. I went to the new venue (Pressure Cafe 6318 N. Clark) last night which has an open mic on Thursday. I must say it is the best open mic I've been to in Chicago; lot's of positive

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-29739690896984457932007-03-27T10:19:00.000-05:002007-03-27T10:22:32.270-05:00

So I am skipping headlines this week. Except. for. one. Guess what? Kerri Wood and Marc Prior are going to start the year on the DL. Again. I wonder how much money they get paid per inning? Seriously, I am going to calculate it later this week.

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-972643153181524252007-03-22T13:04:00.000-05:002007-03-22T13:11:25.515-05:00

So there's lots going on right now in the comedy scene. I recently entered a comedy competition here in Chicago. 3 rounds: 1st round is judged by the audience so don't be shy and come out! I get to do 7-8 minutes, and I am still figuring out what will go in. I suspect about 5 min will be split between my two previous showcases and 2 min completely new. I am on spring break next week so I

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-75046523068989774602007-03-20T14:47:00.000-05:002007-03-20T14:56:38.009-05:00

Some more of my weekly takes on the events of the past week...CAMPAIGN NEWS: John McCain vows to change the world misconception of the "ugly American"I hate when politicians pander. He is only doing this because the issue that concerns young voters the most is "bringing sexy back"Being an ugly ameican is still better than "fugly French"If someone gave me $10 million in aide I would probably say

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-47652993177343504552007-03-15T17:04:00.001-05:002007-03-15T17:04:48.548-05:00

there is some strong language, but For everybody who thinks Duke sucks, but was unsure as to exactly why Duke sucks -- this rap video is for you.

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-63507496143621501522007-03-15T12:54:00.000-05:002007-03-15T12:56:38.049-05:00

Is here! I like Ohio St. to win it all. I am really hoping that Illinois gets a chance to know Bill Self out of the tourny. That guy is a lying bastard. I was watching the scoreboard on ESPN.com and found this update to be quite charming..Mike Jones made a 2-point dunk shot

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-21615473788062413032007-03-13T12:59:00.000-05:002007-03-13T13:11:29.709-05:00

I had a good open mic last night. Got offered a teaching job in LA, which sounds kinda cool to me. Lots of things going on in the news...This weekend, Hugo Chavez said capitalism is the road to hellTo which Republicans replied, "It was probably built by unions."To which Democrats replied, "Before that road ends we need to insert a toll fee."To which Libertarians replied, "And people think We're

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-79294663286095481212007-03-06T15:39:00.000-06:002007-03-06T15:50:52.615-06:00

My father recorded my show on his digital camera, and I spliced out some highlights. I tried showing this to my friend a couple mintes ago and he said that the audio was unhearable. I guess it would be ok if you were there, but I can't wait for the DVD in a couple weeks! EnjoyI did that bath tub bit at the Mutiny and a girl yelled out GROSS! I was proud of myself for selling it so well the

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-52227936429772706112007-03-06T11:30:00.000-06:002007-03-06T11:47:29.776-06:00

Hey all, here are the headlines. I'm going to watch a showcase tonight; should be cool. I know the guy who runs it and he said I am now on the list. Could be months though, since the show is once a month and the list is long. Without further ado....Allen Greenspan says the is a one third chance of recession coming up...I like the statistics. Forget the global implications, as a gambling man

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-7019930438763585552007-03-05T10:02:00.000-06:002007-03-05T10:10:16.967-06:00

So I went to another open mic last night. I have been doing a few of these, but what made this notable was it was at the Mutiny. For those that don't know, the Mutiny is a famous dive bar that has remained a dive without selling out. Anyways, it is a tough vulgar crowd, so I called an audible and scrapped my Fortran jokes and inserted my child abduction jokes. It went over well, but then I

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-76292865820770059982007-03-01T11:42:00.000-06:002007-03-01T11:51:38.327-06:00

My show last night went really well!!! The other comics were great, standing room only crowd, and a personal achievement I will detail later. Thanks to all who supported in body and in spirit. Last time roughly 1/4 of the crowd was there for me, so I had a lot of forgiveness room in my set. This time, although roughly the same number of Roy supporters showed up, the crowd was so large that my

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-60580766409202913642007-02-27T20:14:00.000-06:002007-02-27T20:21:48.909-06:00

My show is tomorrow! Wish me luck. Here are some recent headlines....If Hilary Clinton wins the presidency, President Bill Clinton may be appointed to her vacant senate seat...Former president Clinton is enthusiastic about introducing the interns to a new Bill (hey-yo!)Myspace to help authorities by posting amber alerts...To make sure you read the posts they will be posted by slutty girls that

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-49223300382873749322007-02-21T12:31:00.000-06:002007-03-08T13:02:59.270-06:00

OK, sorry for being late again, but next week I promise Tuesday night headlines. Without further ado...You Tube convention in San Diego a big disappointmentOrganizers were hoping the girls would show up in their bra and pantiesSomehow lip synching isn't as convincing liveThe convention had to be shut down a day early because it was flagged by several users for "nerdity"Science exploring new ways

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-25696749741511805562007-02-19T09:36:00.000-06:002007-02-19T14:02:42.665-06:00

haha. That's an anagram for my name. I saw this at Subatomic films, an internet anagram producer. More anagrams for my nameYO! RHYMERS BE LONG (my rap group)BE MY HONORS GLORY (my 527 fundraisers)BE HER GLORY MY SON (sage advice from a father-in-law)REBEL GYM SO HORNY (now that's an alternative workout)SORRY GLOBE HYMEN (due to global warming, Gaia's cherry has been popped)BYGONE HELM SORRY (

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-18427518065571369732007-02-16T10:17:00.000-06:002007-02-21T12:38:31.321-06:00

Due to popular demand (Ben mentioned it) I am putting up Tuesday night headlines. Albeit a little late. Next week is Tuesday for sure. Lampooning the headlines is good, but things tend to get stale - I saw a for real pro comic doing jokes about a news story that was 2 years old and thought "You really should stay on top of things a little more" Here goes!New American Idol seasoned criticized

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-80054078934748921792007-02-07T13:41:00.000-06:002007-02-07T13:44:26.899-06:00

I think I will do a Tuesday night headlines on this blog to lampoon the news. Starting next Tuesday evening. This will give people a reason to check once a week and know there will be at least something.I decided on a lark to go to Despair.com and see what's new. They have this feature where you can make your own demotivators!!!! Try it out. Here is mine

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-20935989669530985102007-02-03T12:50:00.000-06:002007-02-03T12:54:05.543-06:00

I guess you have to have a google account to use blogger now. I avoided it, but eventually caved. Recent happenings...Went to the Windy City Rollers roller derby. It was trashy, fun, and awesome. I will be going backBeen doing 1-2 open mics a week in addition to class. I am trying to branch out and be more emotional on stage. I am also trying to work on storytelling humor.Went on a road

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1169556754939579602007-01-23T06:35:00.000-06:002007-01-23T07:16:51.370-06:00

The Bears are early underdogs, and I can't figure out why. Maybe it is the national media's obsession with the AFC. The Colts are 7 point favorites. Now look at their schedule: in 15 wins (including the playoffs) they have won just 5 games by more than a touchdown. Only 2 of those teams made the playoffs. The Bears, in contrast, out of 15 wins won 10 by more than a touchdown, including 4

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1169489284408568382007-01-22T11:47:00.000-06:002007-01-22T12:08:04.583-06:00

A trivia fact from ESPNThe Bears salted their 39-14 win over the Saints in the NFC Championship Game with 21 points in the fourth quarter -- the most points the Bears have ever scored in the fourth quarter of a postseason game. As mentioned above, even in the legendary 1940 NFL Championship Game, in which the Bears defeated the Redskins 73-0, they scored "only" 19 points in the final quarter.

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1169486501672302372007-01-22T11:17:00.000-06:002007-01-22T11:21:41.716-06:00

Regular readers of this blog will recall that back on week 1 I said the Bears are going to the superbowl. In spite of all 8 ESPN experts picking the Saints (I will have more to say about that later) the Bears won!!!!! I also blogged that the Bears would go 16-0 so I was wrong about that. However, I don't remember if I blogged this or not, but what I was saying back around week 6 was both the

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1169156077969064892007-01-18T15:31:00.000-06:002007-01-18T15:34:37.986-06:00

I am taking the second session of my comedy class and it started just last night. Most the people from my class are back plus 2 people who took the class awhile ago. I am really excited and it is really helpful to have some focus again. This next class will focus on winning the audience as quickly as possible and being a little bit spontaneous. To that effect, our assignment is to write jokes

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1168724593078895652007-01-13T15:41:00.000-06:002007-01-13T15:43:13.100-06:00

Here is my stand-up premier! It was so fun, amazing, and I plan on continuing. Thanks for support, attention and so forth. This blog has transformed into an account of my attempt to first be a comic and in the back of my mind being a professional. Here goes!

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1168637762424536062007-01-12T15:35:00.000-06:002007-01-12T15:36:02.456-06:00

Simon Cowell speaks for the silent majority Bob Dylan is a bore.

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1168453972179999152007-01-10T12:32:00.000-06:002007-01-10T12:32:52.203-06:00

Feb. 6th at Northwestern University. This post is to remind me not to forget.

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1168452600973909972007-01-10T12:06:00.000-06:002007-01-10T12:10:00.973-06:00

So I went to another open mic last night. My coach advised observing a room once before you work it. Now I know why - I did my same set from the graduation show which is about 5:15, but this place strictly enforced a 4 minute policy. So I didn't finish on a good note, but they weren't buying the whole physics student thing anyway so perhaps it was merciful. I like the room though and will

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1167935110381089632007-01-04T12:21:00.000-06:002007-01-04T12:25:10.420-06:00

I pretty much bummed around the week before New Years, and then on January 2nd I tried writing some comedy and was not very productive. So I decided to go to an open mic last night to observe. I didn't want to do the same bit at the same bar, but the crowd was totally different, and there was one notable detail: the guy who hosts didn't show up so we didn't have a mic. I was told this happens

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1167586341339007132006-12-31T11:27:00.000-06:002006-12-31T11:32:21.356-06:00

Hi all - I have been holiday-ing with my family and bumming around a lot, because this next year I think will be huge for me. Here is a list of things, some big some small, that I will accomplish next yearWrite my thesis (I am defending in May)Get competent at banjo and accordianGet very good at pianoLearn some card magic tricksRead 2 books a month (not related to work)Stop smoking (I am not

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1166575131269755482006-12-19T18:34:00.000-06:002006-12-19T18:38:51.306-06:00

Of my show. It is really cool, and seeing a professional DVD makes it seem more crazy in retrospect. Really cool. I am trying to splice out my clip: tell me what you think. Should I post the whole thing? Or make people come to the show?I am going to an open mic to observe tonight. My coach advised checking out a room before you work it. I will go up tomorrow, at the place I have been

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1166456928691300712006-12-18T09:47:00.000-06:002006-12-18T09:48:48.713-06:00

In a recent survey kids ranked "being fat" as worse than "dying".

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1166134649167165962006-12-14T16:11:00.000-06:002006-12-14T16:28:04.690-06:00

It turns out my parents recorded most of the show using a digital camera! So I spliced together a highlight reel for those of you who couldn't make the show. Enjoy!UPDATE: Oh jeez. I can't figure out how to embed files, which is frustrating because I am sure it is easy. I did google it, so I'm not that lazy. Leave a comment if you know the code. In the meantime, you can view me if you

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1166115201099906582006-12-14T10:40:00.000-06:002006-12-14T10:53:21.136-06:00

Wow! The show went really well basically as good as it could have every punchline hit except one joke that I knew wouldn't work but I tell that joke for myself anyways. Ok, so here's how it went:First disaster. I take the blue line to the red line, and I get off the blue line and they tell me that the red line isn't running. So I am in the middle of downtown during rush hour trying to get to

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1166046095836387342006-12-13T15:41:00.000-06:002006-12-13T15:41:35.870-06:00

That means I'm ready to go.

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1165600806753231542006-12-08T11:57:00.000-06:002006-12-08T12:00:06.780-06:00

So we performed our final set in the room we will be performing in next week. It is a cool room, but way to big to perform for only 10 people. Now I know how the Royals must feel. I went just ok, as a lot of the class had jitters for various reasons. After I performed, I have decided to change my ordering to something more conventional and put more time into memorizing it. Come to the show

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1164909224544662272006-11-30T11:48:00.000-06:002006-11-30T11:53:44.566-06:00

So next week is our dress rehearsal. I got to see the room I will be performing in last night and it is pretty cool! There are some columns so we might have to get creative with the table arrangements, but that's ok. I went to open mic last night with a couple comedy buddies and when I got a ride home I forgot my joke book in Marc's car. Every week we do new material so normally it wouldn't

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1164820016104544442006-11-29T11:06:00.000-06:002006-11-29T11:09:49.456-06:00

Warning there is some strong languageKKKramer

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1164641437294029542006-11-27T09:18:00.000-06:002006-11-27T09:30:37.343-06:00

I was road-trippin' with my family over thanksgiving, and for adventure we decided to duck into South Haven, MI which is a B-level vacation town. We stopped at a restaurant named Clementine's that had a drink named "The Judge Roy Bean". I wasn't particularly in a drinking mood, but being a brethren by namesake I asked the waitress who Judge Roy Bean was. She didn't know and I failed to

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1163708941466328482006-11-16T14:24:00.000-06:002006-11-16T14:30:00.633-06:00

So it's getting down to the wire. Writing new material is getting tougher, as most of us have used up all the "material" we had before we got to class. This week was a little rough for just about everybody, for reasons I am not sure. I decided not to do the open mic because: 1: my set this week wasn't my best and 2: the cameras weren't there. So far 4 classmates have done the open mic with

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1163612985340807882006-11-15T11:48:00.000-06:002006-11-15T11:49:45.366-06:00

I was procrastinating not just one minute ago when I wanted to see Hawk and DJ's take on the offseason. Apparantly they have had enough. RIP Hawk and DJs blog 11-15-2006

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1163521173432997442006-11-14T10:11:00.000-06:002006-11-14T10:19:33.456-06:00

So this past weekend I went to a political conference in Louisville, KY and part of the festivities included an outing at Churchill Downs. I was particularly excited about this, because I had a vision that I would win big. This is the turf race that I scored the biggest on. I had a vision that 3 and 5 would finish first and second, but I didn't know what to do about the third horse in the

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1163130501916572972006-11-09T21:39:00.000-06:002006-11-09T21:49:54.660-06:00

So we went to the open mic after class again. This time, tough, we stayed and observed the Comedy 202 class do their thing. I must admit they seemed unprepared, and I am thankful to be part of such a talented class. One of the better students from class went up and had some mic issues. Basically he was impossible to hear, and he remarked that the lights are something he was not prepared for.

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1162765393355514222006-11-05T16:15:00.000-06:002006-11-05T16:24:43.840-06:00

So I went to a mixed martial arts fight last night - the show was really cool with a lot of action. We saw some good tap outs, but no knockouts. If I had one complaint, it was a little long (4.5 hours!). During one of the intermissions there was an exhibition bout for some wussy style of Karate where they can't punch the head. So these two Polish guys pummeled each other's chest for 6 minutes

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1162585167043617652006-11-03T14:17:00.000-06:002006-11-03T14:19:27.063-06:00

I forgot to mention next week's assignment. 5 minutes open set, the real deal. I might even perform at the open mic I visited last week (the bartender told me I am cute so I feel obligated to go back)...out

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1162499715268210982006-11-02T14:35:00.000-06:002006-11-02T14:39:45.433-06:00

Our comedy teacher informed us the cameras would be rolling at yesterday's class, and here's why. There is one particular comedian who got frustrated in his mid-life with everything and decided he wanted to be a comedian. Typical mid-life crises kinda stuff, but this production company picked up on it and his private coach is also the coach of my class. They are filming selected classes to

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1162391702916545782006-11-01T08:24:00.000-06:002006-11-01T08:52:50.183-06:00

You've heard the buzz. You've read the reviews. Now see for yourself John Kerry belittles US military. So now what? In his press release Kerry wrote If anyone thinks [I] would criticize the...heroes serving in Iraq and not the president who got us stuck there, they’re crazy. This is the classic G.O.P. playbook. I’m sick and tired of these despicable Republican attacks that always seem to come

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1161963055907551882006-10-27T10:26:00.000-05:002006-10-27T10:30:55.926-05:00

So it turned out that writing about things you are good at is much harder than making opinions about things you like. My bit had its moments, but was pretty weak overall. I also learned that some jokes that play well with a physics Ph.D. crowd don't do so well with others (e.g. calling the rest of the world "nitwits"). I would say most everybody else struggled a little too in the third week -

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1161490929826684782006-10-21T23:18:00.000-05:002006-10-21T23:22:09.843-05:00

Now that I've got your attention...FREE SEX!No, just free booze. Here's a list for my Chi-Town headz where in which you can party for free. A comprehensive list of all the places in Chicago where there will be free drinks. Then again, drinks are cheap in Chicago, so you don't really have an excuse for this. At any rate, here it is. Drink responsibly.

-i-http://www.blogger.com/profile/12957022800502875103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1161359498072490742006-10-20T10:49:00.000-05:002006-10-20T10:51:38.096-05:00

Arizona Cardinals coach Dennis Green goes ballistic after choking against the Bears.

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1161287031144827122006-10-19T14:39:00.000-05:002006-10-19T14:43:51.166-05:00

So I had my second class yesterday. I must say I was very impressed with my classmates material! It's shaping up to be really fun. Basically the format is the first half of the class is devoted to comic "games" and the second half we share with everyone our assignment (or as we say in the biz "material"). This week's assignment is to write about 3-5 things you are good at and 3-5 things you

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1161016176617896732006-10-16T11:26:00.000-05:002006-10-16T11:29:36.656-05:00

I was reading about the air samples taken after North Korea's alleged nuclear experiment. Then I came across this startling bit of information In a short statement posted on its Web site, Negroponte's office also confirmed that the size of the explosion was less than 1 kiloton, a comparatively small nuclear explosion. Each kiloton is equal to the force produced by 1,000 tons of TNT.God bless

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1160849891532771772006-10-14T13:17:00.000-05:002006-10-14T13:18:11.560-05:00

Corps. Linebacker

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1160764257901069812006-10-13T13:24:00.000-05:002006-10-13T13:31:40.653-05:00

My first comedy class went really well! We did some exercises that emphasized reacting instead of deliberating. Then we got in front of everyone and talked about ourself and comic influences, etc. The gig is Dec. 6th (might be changed) and I'll be sure let everyone know.Anyways, my assignment this week is to write about 5 things I like and 5 things I don't like. Since I am considering getting

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1160523913061907792006-10-10T18:44:00.000-05:002006-10-10T18:45:13.090-05:00

Had a great time at my family's reunion last weekend. Stand-up classes start tommorow. Been busy at school. out.

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1159986816446242052006-10-04T13:32:00.000-05:002006-10-04T13:33:36.473-05:00

Amazing talent and blooper what more could you ask for?

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1159809359924599142006-10-02T12:14:00.000-05:002006-10-03T11:06:23.766-05:00

Fans of Kurt Vonnegut will be shocked to hear physicists have created of new phase of water. Physicists have created a new form of water, one that stays liquid at hundreds of degrees C below zero. This novel state of H2O occurs when water molecules are trapped inside a nanotube (see drawing), a recently-discovered form of carbon that is a close relative of the Buckyball (see the Physics in

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1159804246725636442006-10-02T10:48:00.000-05:002006-10-02T10:50:46.746-05:00

I know football is a fickle game where an awesome team with a couple injuries can become average real fast. But right now, today, the Bears are the best team in football.

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1159558883595445262006-09-29T14:40:00.000-05:002006-09-29T14:41:34.046-05:00

I co-founded a student newspaper The Diligent Delegate! Look for it in and around campus. Maybe next week I will post my column. So far it has gotten rave reviews.

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1159337745260035972006-09-27T01:14:00.000-05:002006-09-27T01:15:45.276-05:00

ewwwghu

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1159218307247400072006-09-25T16:03:00.000-05:002006-09-25T16:05:07.293-05:00

I was going to post my opinion of the Bill Clinton Blow Up, but somebody beat me to it. Anyways here it isHillary Clinton has been having problems with the left wing of the Democratic party. With this interview, Bill Clinton has the entire left wing of the Democratic party rallying to him. Some of this solidarity can presumably be transferred to Hillary. And the dangerous move of the left-wing

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1159197303997918262006-09-25T10:13:00.000-05:002006-09-25T11:17:08.663-05:00

what do you get when you tow a 35 ft. whale carcass out to sea? feeding frenzy! Also some insight into Great White mating patterns. If you like shark footage don't miss this. (I am not responsible for some of the dubious other videos you might find on the site - I have adblock and you should too).

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1159136766694166882006-09-24T17:24:00.000-05:002006-09-24T17:26:06.710-05:00

The Bears won a close game against a tough opponent on the road.In other news, I am now involved with a student publication called the dilligent delegate. More details (including website) coming soon...

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1158839772392428872006-09-21T06:49:00.000-05:002006-09-21T06:56:12.410-05:00

So my baseball predictions turned out to be wrong. I am bumed, and will pst something later, but football is here! OK, so 17 of 128 teams since 1990 have started 0-2 and still make the playoffs. Roughly one a year. Also, many 2-0 just had a cupcake schedule to start the season. So here are my predictions:0-2 team that makes the playoffs: Miami Dolphins2-0 NFC team that will not make the

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1158680402228061652006-09-19T10:39:00.000-05:002006-09-19T10:40:02.266-05:00

It features Schroedinger's Equation

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1158076268196757652006-09-12T10:44:00.000-05:002006-09-12T10:51:47.110-05:00

I wish to God I had said this 4 days ago, because Lord knows, I was thinking it. The Bears will win the superbowl! No doubt about it. 16-0 is not out of the question so keep your eyes on this historic team.In other news, I am warming up to college football as well. I don't follow it as closely, but I try to catch the big games when I can. So Saturday Notre Dame was demolishing Penn State so

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10423267.post-1157841890652927832006-09-09T17:37:00.000-05:002006-09-09T17:44:50.666-05:00

So I was helping a friend/coworker move from his apartment in my hometown (Oak Park) to another apt. in Oak Park and decided to take a stroll down memory lane. My old house looks to be well kept, and the lady who lives there gave me the hairy eyeball as I leaned my head over the fence from the alley. haha. Anyways I took the Green line back into the city b/c it was closer to where I live. I

Royhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02326731693667674092noreply@blogger.com0